Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
