so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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