Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
