Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
