Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
