My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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