I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
