I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
