i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
