There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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