her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
