I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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