i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
