I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We need a shit load of segways right now
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
