i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Randomize
