I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
