Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
