We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
oh god the rape fog is back!
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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