It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
