i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
