Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
her vagine was all disorganized.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
