No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
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