You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
