if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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