I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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