Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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