Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
