Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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