Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
