The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
this is an emotional support booty call
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
