you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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