You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
The uberlube is also flammable
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
