it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
