In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
