I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
