She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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