so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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