D3 body, D1 cock
Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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