Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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