he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
