okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
