Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
