Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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