its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
