If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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