Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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