get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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