I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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