Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So much rum. So many feels.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
