I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Sext me about skeletons
Randomize
