Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
zippers are such a cool invention
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
